Wedding Wisdom Wednesday :: Addressing Invitations 101 // How to Address Invitations

:: Addressing Invitations 101 // How to Address Wedding Invitations ::

The great song writer/poet Bob Dylan sang in 1964, “The times, they are a changin”. These words are truer than ever today. When it comes to invitations to formal events, there are an array of partnerships that need to be addressed.

MRSter offers the following guidelines on addressing invitations:

:: Married couple with the same last name :: 

                        Mr. and Mrs. John Sanders.

                                          Or

                        Mr. John and Ms. Mary Sanders.

Note :: that the term “Mrs” is used to refer to a person’s wife, so technically using “Mrs. Mary Sanders” is actually incorrect, as it literally means the “wife of Mary” when you really mean “the wife of John”.

:: Married couple with different last names ::

                    Mr. Frank Jersey

                    and Ms. Laura Jackson

:: Married couple – both males using different surnames :: Simply list them in alphabetical order:

                     Mr. Richard Campbell

                     and Mr. Frank Sanger

:: Married couple – both males using the same surname ::

                    Mr. David Henderson

                    and Mr.James Henderson

:: Married couple – both females using different surnames ::

                   Ms. Diedra Jones

                   and Ms. Francine Tuckman

:: Married couple – both females using the same surname ::

                  Ms. Betty Frankfurt

                  and Ms. Alesha Frankfurt

:: People who are living together but unmarried ::

   Just use their actual names and title:                             

                   Ms. Samantha Gilbert                

                  and Mr. George Gomez

                                 Or

                   Mr.Seymour Smith

                   and Mr. Henry Bookman

:: Addressing a single individual :: Write their title and first and last name:

                   Mr. Ray Passmore

:: Addressing a family :: Just use : ‘The’ followed by their last name:

                  The Bridgefields

          If the family has two last names, use them both with a hyphen:

                  The Bridgefield-Jacksons  

:: Addressing a single, divorced or widowed person with an invited child ::

                   Mr. Steven Bloomfield

                   And Master Kent Bloomfield

                                        Or

                   Ms. Barbara Delfino

                   And Miss Isabel Delfino

Note :: If you are having an adult only event; etiquette dictates you should not say “adults only” on your invitation. Instead tactfully state on the RSVP, “We have reserved 2 seats (or a seat) in your honor”. Or print the name(s) of the invited guests with a “will” or “will not” check mark by the name. Hopefully this will be enough for guests to recognize that children are not invited.

:: Addressing people with professional titles :: As a rule, the person with the title is usually the first to be addressed.

                     Dr. and Mrs Jose Sanchez

                                        or

                     Dr. Jules Kingman

                     and Ms. Mary West

                                       or

                     Professor Susan Kingston

                     and Ms. Kingston

                                     Or

                     Councilwoman Frances O’Malley

                     And Mr. O’Mally

                                     Or

                     Captain James Goldstein

                     And Mr. William Zeplin

An exception to this rule is when you are closer to the non-titled person, but are inviting the titled person as a courtesy. In that situation, it is okay to list the person your are closer to first. The same is true for the “alphabetical order” rule.

That about covers most situations. If you have a different situation, send us a note in the comments below, and we’ll help you figure it out!!

Wedding Wisdom Wednesday :: How To Word A Same-Sex Wedding Invitation

:: How To Word A Same-Sex Wedding Invitation ::

Wedding invitation wording varies depending on who is hosting the wedding, and can be formatted in a casual or formal style. Many unique situations are the norm rather than the rule, but the invitations should always include essential information that follows the who, what, where, and when rule.

MRSter consulted with FABuLIST invitation expert Mattie Tomasik of  {MRSter Approved} Lola Lee Invitations for her advice when it comes to how to word same-sex wedding invitations.

Mattie says: 

“My advice would be to word the invitation in a way that represents the couple’s personality & style. When you choose to use the wording ‘invite you to witness their marriage’ or ‘request the honour of your presence at the marriage of’, I think it sets the tone for a more formal or traditional event. There are so many ways to word your wedding invitations now, that a couple could also choose to use one of the following:

:: Celebrate as we pledge our love and commitment

:: Celebrate our union

:: We invite you to share with us the joy of our union

:: Express our commitment to each other”

MRSter adds that while invitations via e-mail or websites such as Evite are fine for many types of get-togethers, a wedding demands an invitation with substance and longevity, so a snail-mailed invitation is the way to go. Besides, the wedding invitation becomes a keepsake for the most important day of your lives. This blogger knows someone who keeps her immigrant grandparents wedding invitation from 1917 framed in the living room! Fabulous!

Are you a same-sex couple planning your wedding? What wording did you, or are you thinking of, using for your wedding invitations? We would love to hear some of your suggestions!

Top Five Friday :: Top 5 Ways to Deal With An Uninvited Wedding Guest

:: Top 5 Ways to Deal With An Uninvited Wedding Guest ::

“Who is that person?”

“Did you invite her (or him) (or them)?”

“No! Did you?”

“NO!”

It happens. Party harty people sometimes crash weddings for free eats and booze and fun. Or someone brings a “surprise” plus one. Or someone invites him/herself that you didn’t intend to invite… But what do you do about it? And how do you handle it gracefully? Here are MRSter’s top five tips for dealing with an uninvited guest.

1 :: Stranger :: This one is relatively easy to handle. You don’t know this person or persons. Ask your wedding planner, venue manager, or member of your wedding party to discretely walk this person to the door.

2 :: Surprise Plus One :: An invited guest may assume it’s okay to bring a friend to your wedding, even though your invitation/RSVP did not say so. In this case, the best thing to do is to squeeze in another chair. There is simply no other gracious way to handle it.

3 :: Surprise Attendee :: Maybe you work with someone for example, who knows all about your wedding; knows when and where it will take place and just figures on showing up. Maybe this person just doesn’t understand that a person needs an invitation in order to go to a wedding. (Duh.) If the subject comes up before the wedding day, you will have the opportunity to explain that you you have a limited guest list. Otherwise here again, there is no other way to gracefully handle the situation except by squeezing in another chair.

4 :: Surprise Child :: Your cousin arrives with her 3 year old in tow even though the invitation stated “adults only.” Your cousin is probably embarrassed anyway when she notices that there are no other children present. As long as the child is well-behaved, say nothing. But if the kid is a terror, assign someone to discreetly intercede. The parent may need to be asked to leave with the child or at least take the disruptive child out of range of the festivities until s/he gets under control.

Photography ::

Photography :: Derek Chad Photography

5 :: Vendor :: You notice that the DJ or photographers or band members on break are noshing or helping themselves to your hosted bar. Unless you gave them permission to do so ahead of time, this is unprofessional behavior. Ask your wedding planner, venue manager, or member of your wedding party to tell them the food and drink are for invited guests only. It’s probably not a good idea for the wedding professional to be drinking at your event anyway. They are, after all, working.

The key word for handling uninvited guests is discretion. If any of these scenarios happen at your wedding, ask others to handle it… With discretion, of course. It’s your job to enjoy your special day!

How to Have a Wedding for $1,000 :: Part 1

:: How to Have a Wedding for $1,000 ::

In today’s society, whereby the national average cost of a wedding is at an all-time high; a staggering $29,858 in 2013, and rising (The Knot, 2014), it’s really no wonder that wedding planning is so stressful and evidently costly. You may think that having a wedding on a budget is difficult, and I’m sure you think it is impossible to come up with a wedding for just $1,000. However, this is actually a feat that many couples have managed to make happen. The key? Keep it simple, be flexible, and think outside the box. Here’s some guidance as to how…

piggybankMoney – Savings” by 401(K) 2012 is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

Timing :: Be flexible about the timing of your wedding; down to the month, day and time of the ceremony. Understandably, the majority of event spaces charge considerably more for the most popular months and dates, because the demand is there. So rather than opting for a Saturday evening in June, September or October, instead go for a Friday or Sunday afternoon in a less popular month. If you time it right, this could help you save big on the catering side of things too. Appetizers and champagne mid-afternoon is going to cost you much less to provide to your guests than an evening sit-down meal. Due to there being less demand for these options, vendors will be more willing to negotiate discounted prices on various wedding services; saving you tons of funds.

Venue :: The venue is arguably the biggest wedding expense for couples. This is supported by the findings of The Knot’s Real Wedding Study (2014) that revealed the average spend on the reception venue alone is $13, 385. Add the separate expense of $1,793 for the ceremony site, and you can see that the average venue comes with a hefty price tag! But fear not, it doesn’t have to be. In fact, it can be relatively easy to find free or inexpensive locations to get married, such as beautiful local parks, lakes or beaches. Or perhaps a relative or a friend of yours has a gorgeous backyard that would make the perfect setting. Think outside the box on this one, and do your research to find somewhere that’s perfect for your special day.

Lesbian Wedding Ceremony DecorationTaken by Cyndi Hardy Photography

Numbers :: Cost of Wedding (2014) state that “a single guest could add between $157 and $192 to the overall cost of your wedding”. So when it comes to numbers, the easiest way to save money on your wedding is to keep the guest list to a minimum. Instead of throwing a big extravagant affair where you feel compelled to invite anyone and everyone, opt for a more intimate occasion whereby you only invite your closest family and friends. Alongside this, try and keep the size of your wedding party to a minimum as well; this will greatly alleviate other costs such as apparel and floral.

Apparel :: The internet is one great resource for finding heavily discounted wedding attire. Some great options include recycled wedding item websites, whereby couples sell their items used for their big day, including apparel. Another popular alternative is rental websites; you can rent apparel items for yourselves and the entire wedding party for a fraction of the cost of buying them. When you’re done, just bag them up and put them in the post… simple! Also, keep an eye out for discounts in department stores, and sample sales at local wedding apparel stores, as they often have big discounts on designer suits and dresses.

CoronadoWedding32Taken by Kristina Lee Photography

Invitations :: Making your own wedding invitations could save you hundreds of dollars. If you are the crafty sort, or can recruit a friend or family member who is, you can visit a craft store and get all of the supplies you need to create DIY invitations for very little money. Alternatively, there are numerous templates and online photo print companies that allow you to upload photos that can then be easily turned into wedding invitations with the click of a few buttons. This has recently become a very popular option, and a cost effective one at that.

Head over to the blog next week for part two of the ‘How to Have a Wedding for $1,000’ series, where I’ll be giving you even more suggestions as to how you can pull off a beautiful wedding that doesn’t blow the budget.

 

Sian Clark // Social Media Manager

How many people will come to my wedding?!?

How many people will come to my wedding? It’s a question couples often ask themselves when planning their wedding, and rightfully so! Every person attending dictates the bottom line in overall spending and couples want to know how much money they are looking at spending.

Even though many couples manage some sort of wedding budget, it’s frustrating to sit and wait for RSVP’s to come in just 2 weeks and sometimes days before the wedding takes place. You might find yourselves saying, “If we can save $450 here, I can add another hour to my photography package”, or “Any money that we can save we can upgrade to a premium bar” or “If we have just a few more no’s on our guest list I can get those wedding ceremony programs I found and fell in love with on Pinterest!”

How many guests will RSVP yes to a weddingI get it. I really do! AND, it can be aggrevating when guests are slow to respond or miss the RSVP date entirely. What do you have to do when that happens?…track them down and ask if they’re attending. Who does that and how uncomfortable is that conversation!?

So for planning purposes we thought we would give you some guidelines that we have learned by working in the wedding industry for so long. It’s called the “75/25 rule”. Typically 75% of your guests will say “Yes!” and 25% will say “Nah/No/Busy that Day/Maybe next time/etc.” Now, of course every wedding varies. The more out-of-town guests you have, the higher the decline rate. Overall though, 75/25 is a pretty good guesstimate.

THEN, on your wedding day you could see up to a 10% rate of no-shows. These are also known as the guests who
a) Become ill
b) Have babysitting plans fall through
c) Fight on the way there
d) Decided their time was more important spent watching reruns of Friends (why did you invite them again?)
e) Flat tire (yeah, right)
f) Other

Stuff happens and you’ll get a few that won’t make it at the last minute. It always happens.

Now, an example.

200 invited
150 will RSVP “Yes!”
135 will attend the wedding

Again, this is not always the case, but I bet you we won’t be far off!

How to Address Invitations to Gay Couples

Many couples planning weddings today have gay couples on their roster of invitees.  We all know how to address envelopes to hetero couples, but how do you properly address an invitation to a gay couple?  {Hint :: There’s really no difference}

Drew Andy

Photo Courtesy Sergio Photographer // www.sergiophotographer.com

There are some differing opinions, but I suggest the following guidelines ::

If the couple is not married, list them on two separate lines on the outer envelope. 

Mr. Andrew Erickson
Mr. Drew Coleman

If the couple is married (legally recognized or not) and do not share their last name, list them on the same line and use “and” in between their names.

Mr. Andrew Erickson and Mr. Drew Coleman

If they are married and have the same last name, list them on the same line but only use the last name once.

Mr. and Mr. Andrew and Drew Coleman

The inner envelope should be addressed in the same format as the outer envelope, but without the first names. It is also okay to list both names on same line.

Mr. Erickson and Mr. Coleman
Mr. and Mr. Coleman

Note :: Always list the names in alphabetical order by the first name. Also, do not use “Misters” or “Messrs” to address a gay male couple as that is used for a group of two or more brothers.