Wedding Wisdom Wednesday :: Last Name After Marriage // To Change Or Not To Change - That Is The Question

:: Last Name After Marriage // To Change Or Not To Change – That Is The Question ::

Much has changed. I remember attempting to buy a car back in the 70s. (Yes, I’m an old broad.) The salesman advised me to come back with my “husband.” I was totally insulted! The nerve of that guy!!! As if I wasn’t equipped to make such a big decision on my own. Grrr. It still irks me when I think about it. Needless to say I bought my car elsewhere.

The tradition of the “wife” taking the last name of the “husband” stems from the days when wives were considered property. The woman moved from her father’s home to her husband’s home and thus took his name because she now belonged to him. Historically, most cultures were founded on a patriarchal system. Consider the fact that even in America, woman have had the right to vote for less than 100 years so although we have evolved, we still have a long way to go.  

Yes, much has changed, and now that same-sex marriage is legal nationwide, the question again arises of what to do about a last name for the newly created family unit. There are several schools of thought on the issue of adopting the name of your partner.  

Love Is Love

On the pro side, sharing the same last name creates a feeling of family unity and makes the two easily identifiable as a couple. If there are or will be children in the mix, sharing a common last name identifies the family as a whole. Also, there is something that speaks of commitment and honor to be willing to take on the name of your partner.

On the con side, there is still that element of possession, loss of personality identity, and somehow being a less important person than the one whose name you take. Then there is the element of traditional male roles versus traditional female roles which society at large still finds confusing in relation to the LGBTQ community.

As always, you have the right to do what you want to do in this country, as long as you are not a danger to yourself or others. So our position here at MRSter is to do what is right for you as a couple. We would like to add that we think the idea of combining both last names into one brand new last name is an exciting and compelling alternative, and speaks volumes of the commitment to the new family unit. This idea affords a lovely way to merge your identities in a creative, committed way.  

What are your thoughts? To change or not to change your last name after marriage?